to make the doughnuts, immediately discover three or four problems in your inbox, before your first shots of caffeine have even really had a chance to work their way through your system, and then you get a ray-of-comic-sunshine email like this, which has you checking your calendar to see if it’s not April 1 instead of May 1:

“What do you get when you mix a reality TV crew, four handheld
digital camcorders and an eye surgeon to the stars (that would be ophthalmologist
Dr. Robert K. Maloney, presumably self-described) with a TV beauty’s pursuit of
20/20 vision and one innovative company willing to document it all? You get the
breakthrough online docu-drama RealityLASIK,
which documents Kristin Cavallari’s pursuit of the latest in vision correction
surgery and her decision to ultimately undergoing [sic] Advanced CustomVue LASIK
with the IntraLase Method.” (parentheses and correction mine)

That’s right. Cavallari (above), perhaps equally known for her role
several years ago on the MTV reality series Laguna
Beach: The Real Orange County, and her more recent role in consoling Nick
Lachey’s jock (allegedly) after the break-up of his marriage to Jessica Simpson,
needs glasses. Or needed, I guess. Then
she decided she was through with that mess — glasses are so 20th century, nerds! But here, let me let a talking head
explain.

“Kristin had made the decision to have LASIK surgery, and
approached us with the idea of documenting her own experience as a fun way to
speak to her fans and others considering the procedure,” said Lauren
Kanner, AMO’s global director of consumer market development. “The
medical industry is always looking for ways to earn the public’s trust. The
very nature of a reality-based program is to draw the audience in, and we
thought this was an engaging opportunity for people to live the LASIK surgery
experience through Kristin’s eyes, not ours.”

So there you have it. Cavallari will have LASIK surgery,
presumably in a bikini. I’m not sure what qualifies this project as a “breakthrough,”
other than simply the dizzying combination of ingredients — though by this classification,
an omelet consisting of everything in my refrigerator would also be a “breakthrough.”
I do know I’m happy for its existence, though. It’s given me an out-loud laugh,
and staked a strong claim to the most awesome thing of the day. Take that, birthday of Wes Anderson!
For more information, I suppose you can visit the web site by clicking here.