Daily Archives: May 1, 2007

Kristin Cavallari Has Her Eyes on You

to make the doughnuts, immediately discover three or four problems in your inbox, before your first shots of caffeine have even really had a chance to work their way through your system, and then you get a ray-of-comic-sunshine email like this, which has you checking your calendar to see if it’s not April 1 instead of May 1:

“What do you get when you mix a reality TV crew, four handheld
digital camcorders and an eye surgeon to the stars (that would be ophthalmologist
Dr. Robert K. Maloney, presumably self-described) with a TV beauty’s pursuit of
20/20 vision and one innovative company willing to document it all? You get the
breakthrough online docu-drama RealityLASIK,
which documents Kristin Cavallari’s pursuit of the latest in vision correction
surgery
and her decision to ultimately undergoing [sic] Advanced CustomVue LASIK
with the IntraLase Method.” (parentheses and correction mine)

That’s right. Cavallari (above), perhaps equally known for her role
several years ago on the MTV reality series Laguna
Beach: The Real Orange County
, and her more recent role in consoling Nick
Lachey’s jock
(allegedly) after the break-up of his marriage to Jessica Simpson,
needs glasses. Or needed, I guess. Then
she decided she was through with that mess — glasses are so 20th century, nerds! But here, let me let a talking head
explain.

“Kristin had made the decision to have LASIK surgery, and
approached us with the idea of documenting her own experience as a fun way to
speak to her fans and others considering the procedure,” said Lauren
Kanner, AMO’s global director of consumer market development. “The
medical industry is always looking for ways to earn the public’s trust
. The
very nature of a reality-based program is to draw the audience in, and we
thought this was an engaging opportunity for people to live the LASIK surgery
experience through Kristin’s eyes, not ours
.”

So there you have it. Cavallari will have LASIK surgery,
presumably in a bikini. I’m not sure what qualifies this project as a “breakthrough,”
other than simply the dizzying combination of ingredients
— though by this classification,
an omelet consisting of everything in my refrigerator would also be a “breakthrough.”
I do know I’m happy for its existence, though. It’s given me an out-loud laugh,
and staked a strong claim to the most awesome thing of the day. Take that, birthday of Wes Anderson!
For more information, I suppose you can visit the web site by clicking here.

Foxworthy’s Big Night Out

Jeff Foxworthy is clearly a flippin’ genius. He’s parlayed
the whole “You might be a redneck if…” thing into a cottage empire, with books,
comedy CDs and the hugely successful Blue
Collar Comedy Tour
special, which in turn spawned its own movie. Because my
TiVo is under strict instructions never to pull anything from CMT, however, I
didn’t realize that he’d also taken up someone on a dare by launching a
Southern-fried In Living Color sketch
comedy show. That’s essentially what Foxworthy’s
Big Night Out
is, and it’s apparently fairly popular, at that. Making its
DVD bow on a well-produced two-disc set that includes all of the series’
episodes, as well as bloopers, behind-the-scenes footage and more, Big Night Out is — within the confines
of its demographic pandering, and against almost every instinct in my body — a
mostly winning collection
of laughs and musical performances.

The series premiered its 12-episode run on CMT in September of
last year, with each half-hour show — taped in front of a live studio audience
in Atlanta’s Alliance Theater — finding
Foxworthy joined onstage by some of country music’s biggest stars. Individuals
and acts like Trace Adkins, Sara Evans, Pat Green, Jack Ingram, Montgomery
Gentry, Kenny Rogers, Hank Williams Jr., Joe Nichols, Blake Shelton, The Warren
Brothers, The Wreckers and Billy Currington all test their comedic talents by
appearing in sketches with Foxworthy and his regular troupe of actors,
consisting of Brooke Dillman, Peter Oldring, Shane Caldwell and Sara Erikson. (Hypnotist
Mark Sweet and comic Kathleen Madigan also make special appearances.) Clearly
the humor hews to the good-natured and countrified; Foxworthy opens each show
with a monologue, where he riffs on road rage, the guitar solo in “Freebird”
and paranoia over one’s health (joking here about his wife disallowing him from
watching “any programs subtitled ‘The Silent Killer’”). He also summarizes the emergence
of Viagra thusly: “Used to be when you were done playing you just went out and
started a garden.”

These genial openings are fine and well, but where Big Night Out scores surprisingly well
is in its skits
. A Celebrity Deer Hunter
sketch finds guest star Sara Evans battling for promotional time with two self-touting
hosts and their six-barrel shotgun (“Because aiming is for sissies!”), and there’s
also an amusing segment in which a group of guys organize an intervention to curb
their whipped pal’s devotion to his wife, all because it’s further making them look
bad. One of the best sketches, though, inverts the stereotype of the hooting construction
worker
; here, girls holler at and lust for men’s pot bellies, deriding the one buff
male who walks by as underfed. The lamest bits, meanwhile, incorporate audience
questions at show’s end; this bit of back-slapping is unnecessary, and often
painful to watch.

Spread out over two discs, Big Night Out is presented in full screen, with a Dolby digital
stereo track that captures the set’s meager aural demands just fine. A nice
collection of bloopers, pared-down offerings of the best of Foxworthy’s
monologues and a few congratulatory behind-the-scenes featurettes
comprise the
slate of bonus material, making for a solid offering that plays across
generational (if not always state) lines. B (Show) B+ (Disc)

Sony Goes (Further) International

In response to the growing importance of the global cinema marketplace, The Hollywood Reporter is, well, reporting that Sony Pictures Entertainment has created an international motion picture
production department, which will be led by Gareth Wigan, vice chairman of the Columbia TriStar Motion Picture Group, and Deborah
Schindler
, the former head of Red Om Films who has run the East Coast motion picture production and development operation for Columbia Pictures since 2005.

With the way the film business is expanding these days, I’m frankly a bit shocked to learn that Sony is the only Hollywood studio to maintain stand-alone, local-language production units throughout Europe, Asia and Latin America. International theatrical receipts are of course a bigger and bigger slice of the pie these days (see Night at the Museum, if you doubt). They can make a bonafide hit out of relative under-performers like Troy or Kingdom of Heaven, and help birth sequels for so-so successes like Underworld and Resident Evil. But the under-discussed subtext of that lesson is that there is such a thing as separate foreign tastes (duh), and those distinctions are bubbling to the surface more and more. Why more Hollywood studios don’t try to explicitly cater to those rabid, burgeoning bases, I’m not sure.

The Majestic

It’s the beginning of the month and I’m fleshing out the archive a bit, though in admittedly slow-hand fashion. Next on the docket: this review of The Majestic, originally published upon its theatrical release in 2001. Why now? Let’s say… because I just saw Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy having sex in the hot tub which my balcony overlooks. Does that work? Did that get your attention? OK, settle down. On to the review:

The elastic-faced Jim Carrey, who started his career on Fox’s sketch comedy show In Living Color and first sprung to cinematic prominence in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective by talking with his butt cheeks and sporting a pompadour that would shame both an “Uptown Girl”-era Billy Joel and a modern day Chris Isaak, has been on a slow and steady quest to get serious. His first two dramatic feature film leads, The Truman Show and Man on the Moon, brought mixed results. For the most part critically lauded, both as a whole and with respect to his performances, the films secured Carrey Golden Globe Best Actor wins from the Hollywood Foreign Press Association (though the latter was curiously in the comedic category, something Carrey himself poked fun at in his acceptance speech). Yet each film was met with degrees of indifference at the box office, as well as virtual Academy Award lock-outs. What, then, to make of these mixed signals?