Daily Archives: April 4, 2007

Disturbia Thoughts

I caught Paramount’s Disturbia last week, and for all those huffing and puffing about its similarities to Rear Window, you can rest easy: despite some good-ish performances, the movie marginally fails on its own terms, as a thriller.

Shia LaBeouf stars as Kale, a decent but wayward kid who gets sentenced to house arrest for punching out his Spanish teacher. (Why he does that is another story…) Bored out of his mind after his mother (Carrie-Anne Moss) snips the cord on his television and otherwise severs his connections to outside entertainment, Kale takes to scoping out the rituals of his neighbors, including new girl next door Ashley (Sarah Roemer, of The Grudge 2). Soon Kale comes to believe that another neighbor, Robert Turner (David Morse), is responsible for the disappearance of several young women. With Ashley and friend Ronnie (Aaron Yoo) as his lifelines to the outside world, Kale investigates, and confirms that Turner has dark secrets worth hiding.

I was a fan of director DJ Caruso’s The Salton Sea and, to a much lesser extent, Taking Lives, and he’s got an undeniably solid visual style. The problem here, though, is a sense of space, and all the technology deployed in surveillance, which is never really clearly laid out. LaBoeuf gives Disturbia its own chatterbox personality, and there’s some interest to be found in the manner in which the movie charts Kale’s path of initial insouciance to a more proactive nature. But the big problem is the script, by Christopher Landon and Carl Ellsworth (Red Eye). There are gaping holes in motivation and behavior — even adjusting for the necessity of personalizing the conflict — and by the second act it becomes apparent that the movie and its makers don’t have anything interesting to say, with the finale tipping over into siege film shenanigans. Disturbia releases wide on April 13. For more information, click here.

Killer of Sheep Slots Guests

As previously mentioned, those in the Los Angeles area are in for a treat with the long-awaited, 30th anniversary theatrical presentation of Charles Burnett’s Killer of Sheep, which bows in preserved form in a new 35mm print at the Nuart Theatre this Friday, April 6, and runs for a week.

Things get even better, though. Actors Henry Sander and Charles Bracy will appear along with UCLA Film and Television Archive preservationist Ross Lipman for Q&As following Friday’s screenings. Tickets are $9.50, and are available at the theater box office, and through Moviefone. For information, phone (310) 281-8223. For more information on the film, click here.

Crush on U

Li’l Romeo, Percy Miller, Jr., Romeo Miller… it’s hard
keeping up with the names of rap impresario Master P’s oldest offspring
(above right). After
all, this kid has bounced around all over the aspirant mini-celeb map, from
ankle-biting rap moneymaker to actor to hoopster. With regards to the latter, he’s accepted a basketball
scholarship to USC, where he’ll matriculate beginning in the fall of 2008. One
thing is for certain — with Crush on U,
Miller has given opposing fans plenty of new, shameful heckling material in an
already estimable canon of jokes
.

He stars here as Rome
(what a shock), a popular 16-year-old high school sophomore who has everything
going his way. Rome’s best friend
Matt asks him to watch his younger sister while he goes out on a date. Rome
agrees, but quickly finds out that he’s bitten off more than he can chew; to
his surprise, Matt’s little sister Forest
(Forrest Lipton, above left) has a big crush on him, and wants to take him to the school
dance. Instead, Romeo sends his younger brother, and “romantic miscomplications,”
as Master P might say, ensue.

I’ll be honest, the critical filter wasn’t really set on
high for this flick. I threw it on while making dinner one night, expecting a
stupid, doofy comedy somewhat on par with that stupid Saturday morning kids’
series starring the two kids from Big
Daddy
… what’re their names — ahh, right, Dylan and Cole Sprouse. After all,
it’s hard to take seriously a movie that doesn’t feature a listed writer (that
would be Britt O’Wynn, doubtfully a real name) on its back cover credit
listing, and is executive produced solely by someone recognized as “Bossman.”

I had no idea, really. Crush
on U
is atrocious, and completely, mind-numbingly inane (which in and of
itself isn’t shocking), but it’s also awfully filmed and staged, and just
awkward and incompetent all around. It’s directed by Master P himself, and,
fitting for a man who once concocted the stirring anthem “Make ’Em Say Uhh!,” marrying
prefab beats to a bowel movement exhortation
, he mucks it up but good. I didn’t
finish watching this, a professional rarity, but I also must report that
substituting “couldn’t” for “didn’t” wouldn’t be much of a stretch. It’s that
wretched, even on its own terms as a piece of promotional sidebar product feeding
the gaping maw of Master P’s sprawling entertainment empire.

Housed in a regular Amray case with a snap-hinge tray, Crush on U is presented in 1.78:1
widescreen, and actually comes with a CD soundtrack featuring more than 20
tunes
. Well, that’s somewhat misleading. There’s actually five songs, you see — “Madame
Prezz,” “Step by Step,” “Girly Girl,” the title track and “Dancing.” Club
mixes, radio edits, instrumental versions and the like pad out the CD’s running
time… hey, just like the feature! Tedious outtakes, a Lipton music video (she’s
also a young singer in Master P’s stable, you see) and other predictably cheery
and back-slapping behind-the-scenes material comprise the slate of bonus
material, and a two-sided mini poster, featuring both Romeo and Lipton, is also
included. If, for some reason, you feel the urge to still purchase this movie, via Amazon, click here. If I’m Being Kind: I, For Incomplete; If I’m Being Honest: F (Movie) C-
(Disc)