Mixing the usual straight-to-video staples of lowbrow humor and side servings of T&A, Transylmania tries hard to position itself as a randy, zany vampire spoof for our vampire-crazed times, following a group of misfit co-eds studying overseas as they deal with the fallout of a
Transylvanian haunted castle. Most of the jokes never really take flight, however, and the performances aren’t strong and comedically engaging enough to merit the attention of anyone other than genre completists looking to while away some time between undergraduate core studies required classes.

Stoked
over a Romanian hottie he’s met online, sex-obsessed college
student Rusty (Oren Skoog) talks a group of his dimwitted friends — including weed-happy Pete (Patrick Cavanaugh), who’s torn between dating twin sisters Danni (Nicole
Garza) and Lia (Natalie Garza), one of whom is a square and one of whom more readily fits his party-hearty lifestyle — into joining him abroad for a semester of
beer, babes and bongs at what they think is a prestigious Transylvanian
university. What they discover instead is a creepy castle populated by a
torture-loving mad scientist, an over-cybersexed humpback, the nubile
spirit of a decomposed sorceress and a bevy of horny vampire chicks.

Transylmania was crafted by the same team behind Dorm Daze and Dorm Daze 2 — co-director/producers David and Scott Hillenbrand, and co-writers Patrick Casey and Joshua “Worm” Miller. Given their experience and rapport, it’s not surprising that the movie exhibits loads of energy, and projects the loose-limbed, casual vibe of a set with plenty of off-camera friends. Unfortunately, very little of that really translates to the screen. The performances are sub-par — hammy, self-indicating things, existing in little bubbles almost hermetically sealed from one another — and most of the action is awkwardly captured and framed. Some of the dialogue has a bit of snap, but not enough to save this wearying exercise in demonstrative demographic rib-poking.

Housed in a regular plastic Amaray case, Transylmania comes to DVD presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen, with an English language 5.1 Dolby digital audio track, and optional English subtitles. In addition to the normal trailer for the movie and a special “stoner” version of the same, there’s a healthy complement of supplemental material, at least quantitatively speaking. An audio commentary track with the Hillenbrands and costars Skoog, Jennifer Lyons and indefatigable self-promoter Musetta Vander kicks things off, and much congratulatory back-slapping ensues. Alternate openings and endings for the movie come with optional commentary, as do 16 minutes of deleted and extended scenes, the bulk of which expand upon some of the movie’s druggy cross-chatter, as well as the relationship backstory of Pete, Danni and Lia.

A six-and-a-half-minute gag reel highlights all sorts of problems with faulty props, as well as trouble with line readings from Cabin Fever‘s DeBello and a handful of local Romanian extras. (At least the latter have the excuse of English not being their first language.) Rounding things out is a lame, two-minute (yes, two-minute!) “behind-the-scenes featurette,” in which one of the actors actually asks if there have ever been other horror spoofs, or comedies. Well, those Scream and Scary Movie franchises come to mind. But maybe they’re too old, or outside the bounds of recollection for this flick’s target audience. To purchase the DVD via Amazon, click here. D+ (Movie) B- (Disc)

We live in tawdry times, when news of Starlet X’s latest underwear malfunction makes its way to the splashy top “folds” of the Huffington Post or CNN’s web site. In that context, perhaps it’s no surprise, the DVD bow of Final 24, a Canadian-mounted project billed as a compelling hybrid drama/documentary series that unlocks “the hidden secrets, psychological flaws and events that resulted in the tragic deaths of global icons.” Slick, well-produced and more than a bit morbid, these DVDs — both individually and in aggregate — offer up a tabloid-style re-visitation of the last single day in the lives of its subjects, complemented by talking head interviews that range from dubious merit to surprisingly candid and revelatory.

One of the series’ debut entries focuses on Nicole Brown Simpson, the ex-wife of murdering hack golfer football legend O.J. Simpson, so right off the bat one has to wonder a bit about the whole “global icon” thing. Still, the rest of its debut slate hews a bit more closely to its stated focus, including peeks at the untimely deaths of Gianni Versace, Janis Joplin and Keith Moon, an eclectic trio to be sure. (Entries on Sid Vicious, John Belushi, Anna Nicole Smith and David Koresh loom on the horizon for June, meanwhile, and River Phoenix, Marvin Gaye, Hunter S. Thompson, John Kennedy and Tupac Shakur are scheduled to get the same treatment later this fall.)

While Danny Wallace’s narration — a constant on all the titles — too often
strikes the chords of doomsday melodrama, and it’s stupendously weird and unsettling to mix real pictures of the deceased with murky reenactments and still photographs of the same actor-participants, Final 24 is undeniably well put together, however exploitative, sleazy or yawningly rehashing one may find its areas of inquiry. Producers Katherine Buck and John Vandervelde have done a great job of corralling interviewees that extend beyond the range of the usual suspects.

The Nicole Brown Simpson title is a perfect illustration of this. Once you get past the cursory descriptive inanities (“She was a diamonds-and-pearls gal, but very spiritual”), Tanya Brown (i.e., the Brown sister that wasn’t in the media every day for two or three years in the wake of the Brown-Goldman murders) has some genuinely affecting revelations about her sister’s relationship with Simpson. So, too, does David LeBon, a close friend from Nicole’s teenage years, who recounts the then 30-year-old Simpson — and at the time married, with two kids and a third on the way — hitting on the then 18-year-old restaurant hostess, and renting his new mistress an apartment because he was jealous of Nicole’s (platonic) relationship with LeBon, a roommate. In other words, there’s stuff here that’s new or interesting, even if it’s not always flattering for the subjects (a high school teacher recounts Nicole’s stated career objective to “marry someone famous”). Occasionally, the chats tip into downright uncomfortable territory; Dr. Susan Forward, billed as Nicole’s therapist, talks generally about the “Swiss cheese conscience” of domestic batterers, but also delves rather specifically into Brown and Simpson’s history, which feels a bit unnerving. And yet it’s that level of real and personal detail that gives these titles their pop. One can’t quite completely look away… even if on some level they would like to.

Housed in regular plastic, white Amaray cases featuring cover photos of the reenactment participants, with a unifying stamp of “Final 24: A Dramatization” stuck in the lower righthand corner, all the Final 24 titles come on region-free discs, and run right around 48 minutes apiece. There are no accompanying bonus materials, so an audience member must bring to each title their own level of pre-gauged interest and historical contextualization. B+ (Movies) D+ (Discs)