Daily Archives: August 24, 2008

Victoria Jackson Implies Obama May Be the Anti-Christ

Victoria Jackson, the ditz who in the 1980s made a career on Saturday Night Live out of playing a ditz, is the latest celebrity to drop a poorly written broadside against Barack Obama.

On her eponymous blog, right under a click-through ad for her latest album, Ukulele Ditties for Itty Bitty Kiddies, Jackson lets loose a rambling, semi-coherent rant that derides Obama as a relativist and humanist, and cites as evidence the fact that the Bible passages he quotes are too willfully obscure, and thus selected to overtly court Evangelicals. (Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up.) In addition to scattering commas like pitched dice, confusing the word “attribute” with “contribute,” and labeling Obama a communist, racist and liar, Jackson asserts that, “Obama bears traits that resemble
the anti-Christ, and I’m scared to death that un-educated [sic] people will
ignorantly vote him into office.”
Yes, she actually types those words, acknowledging that, “I know my stance might keep me from L.A. jobs, since (almost) the whole
town is liberal but… [sometimes] one must stand for what they believe in, and put
truth before popularity.”

So this is an inarguable truth in her mind? That he is the anti-Christ, or merely “bears traits that resemble” him? I guess I’m confused. I’m all for political expression on all sides, really, but I confess I’m both shocked and depressed by the levels of batshit-crazy present in opinion pieces like this — and the much commented upon op-ed from Jon Voight, whose prose reads like his train of thought skipped the rails and plunged off a cliff. Let me bottom-line it: you sound like ignorant rubes, anyone who peddles the most repugnant of this material.

When I hear/read stuff like this, it always comes off as desperate, needy invective from emotional hoarders — people who so feed on others’ insecurities and reactions that they need to try to exercise reverse mind control. It’s never about an intellectual, reasoned response; it’s always about attacking the strength of a feeling, and how this shouldn’t be trusted. Wasn’t that at the heart of Footloose, too?

Particularly with respect to the anti-Christ stuff, if you’re more invested in finding links between outlying scripture and current events to support your worldview, rather than living in the moment and confronting problems in something at least resembling head-on fashion, you’re not living as a Christian concerned with Christian works, with doing good and making the world a better place. You’re living merely to jump-circle defend the status quo, because any advancement in science, technology, social custom or anything else is another brick in the path toward the Great Reckoning. You might as well be living in a cave, honestly, and guarding the tribal flame.

None of this would matter, I guarantee you, if Barack Obama’s name was Barry Johnson. I’m not saying that all of the whackjob-fringe criticism of him falls purely along racial lines, but this isn’t about Obama, this is about people projecting their own uncertainties about the state of this country onto a man they have never met, because they fear the sea changes — racially, culturally, geographically — that this country will undergo in the next two generations. So the guy with the funny name is the easy, most immediate, front-and-center target. And after eight years of bewildering inarticulateness, “speaking well” becomes elitist, and appealing to a sense of hope and optimism becomes a reason to play the great Revelations card. It’s enough to make one mull the benefits of forced sterilization, really.

The House Bunny

Anna Faris is a rarity in young Hollywood — a fairly known
commodity and proven performer to boot, but still an undervalued stock.
Collectively, the four Scary Movie films in which she has starred have taken in over $430 million domestically, and Faris’ supporting turns in movies like The Hot Chick, Waiting, Just Friends, My Super Ex-Girlfriend and, of course, Sophia Coppola’s Lost in Translation have shown her to be an inspired comic performer, equally adept at blank-faced satire, unhinged farce and physical slapstick.

Thus far true breakout stardom has eluded Faris (consigned to a token, single-theater release, Gregg Araki’s showcase vehicle Smiley Face failed to do the trick), but the new movie The House Bunny, along with costarring roles with Topher Grace and Seth Rogen in forthcoming films, may help finally do the trick.

The
first film from executive producer Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison
production company to fully give itself over to a mostly female ensemble
, The House Bunny
is an utterly predictable and formulaic comedy given a huge kick in the
keester courtesy of its effervescent star. The movie’s
inner-beauty/empowerment arc is consignment-shop thin, and handled with
little élan by Fred Wolf, a former Saturday Night Live writer and Team Sandler veteran who stumbled through his directorial debut in the form of this year’s quietly dumped Strange Wilderness. In the end, though, it doesn’t matter, because every moment Faris is on screen is a moment in which something delightful could happen, and that’s as good a reason as any these days to go to the movies.

Faris
(above left, with Emma Stone) stars as Shelley Darlingson, a third-tier
Playboy bunny (she of the “Girls of the Midwest” and “Girls with GEDs”
pictorials) who aspires to print centerfold-dom (“It’s like the highest honor — it says, ‘I’m naked in the middle of a magazine… unfold me’”).
When a misunderstanding facilitated by a conniving housemate leads to
Shelley getting the boot from the Playboy mansion, though, she sets out
on her own, and stumbles across a small college with a sorority house
in need. Unless they can sign a robust new pledge class, the seven
socially clueless women of Zeta Alpha Zeta will lose their house. Needing a place to stay, Shelley talks her way into becoming their new house mother, and a cracked, colorful alliance is formed.
Throw in a few token love interests (including Colin Hanks for Faris’
character) and some scheming counterparts — in the form of the girls
of Phi Iota Mu, led by Sarah Wright — and one doesn’t need their own
GED to figure out where this is all headed.

Owing to the fact that it’s penned by the same screenwriters, Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith, The House Bunny at times feels like a tailor-made companion piece to 2001’s Legally Blonde, both in color (pink, everywhere!) and bouncy tone. Though there are moderately well integrated cameos from Hugh Hefner and his real-life Aryan princesses,
there are also more than a few narrative bumps along the way, and gears
sometimes grind for a scene or two when characters are forced to more
nakedly advance the story. (It’s best, for instance, not to think about
the logistics of Shelley teaching the gals all about what boys like,
when American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee plays a very
pregnant coed.) Speaking generally, though, there’s actually some
amusement to the gender inversion of Greek-clash college flick clichés,
and the value of the ditzy quips (“Eyes are like the nipples of the face,” advises Shelley) and some other banter are certainly above average.

Faris’ breathy essence, though, is both the engine and the gasoline that makes this movie run.
(She also nabs a producer credit, her first.) With her in the driver’s
seat, the sturdy Oldsmobile-feel of this plot earns its racing stripes.
Faris has the savvy comic timing and inherent appeal of a new millennial Carole Lombard or Lucille Ball,
and the casting dilemmas she presents — clearly too talented and
naturally charismatic for eye-batting girlfriend roles, and such a
force of potential personality that she would eclipse a lot of drippy
rom-com leading men, like Edward Burns or Luke Wilson — summon to mind a similar problem faced by Téa Leoni,
another under-appreciated comedic performer. Whatever its final
commercial haul, one thinks, however, that the skimpy pink bikinis on
display in The House Bunny might finally help Faris get Hollywood’s lasting attention. (Sony/Columbia, PG-13, 98 minutes)

In Regards to My Possible Secret Life as a Drug Mule…

On the heels of the release of Brad Anderson’s Transsiberian, it’s worth noting that my Mom and Dad returned from a trip to the then-Soviet Union with exactly the same sort of Russian nesting dolls that Kate Mara and Eduardo Noriega’s characters use to smuggle heroin in the movie, raising the distinct possibility that my parents were drug mules, and I was an unwitting, in utero accomplice. Though, in their defense, I don’t have any specific recollections of them screaming at me as a toddler not to lick the dolls…