Sam Worthington is probably a perfectly nice guy. But whenever I hear some piece of casting news about him (he’s already plugged into at least three mega-franchises, possibly four), I have to quickly, quietly remind myself that they’re not actually talking about Sam Huntington. He’s perfectly anonymous, in other words — a growly, studied-intense blend of Russell Crowe, Orlando Bloom and, I don’t know… Daniel Craig? He looks the part of an Anglo-foreign movie star, sure (Australian? British? Kiwi? Midwestern soccer moms are never quite sure…), but is being plugged into Hollywood studio film leading roles at a somewhat alarming clip, seemingly before any independent commercial or critical referendum. (Even Colin Farrell had Tigerland.)

Of course that’s only one of the problems with Clash of the Titans, a competent but hardly rousing piece of effects-spectacle entertainment in which Worthington, exuding the yep-I’m-here charisma of a middleweight Steve Reeves stand-in, stars as Perseus, a demigod who sets out to settle a score between man and the gods. Standing on the shoulders of other recent 3-D Hollywood rib-pokers, and featuring choppily edited action sequences that pass the time as much as thrill, this in some respects lush but also murkily shot movie seems destined to both score a king’s ransom at the box office and be utterly forgotten in fairly short order.
For those who skipped Latin, or tuned out during those scattered middle school mythological overviews, and never caught 1981’s Harry Hamlin-starring flick of the same name, a solemn female voiceover provides just about all the specifics about Greek gods that one needs to know in order to lay back and let Clash of the Titans wash over them. Mortals, you see, are fed up with the whims of the gods, who hang around in a pillared Mount Olympus, sporting lots of guyliner and letting streams of white light bounce impressively off and around them. So they’ve stopped praying to them, and have started toppling statues and the like. This is a problem, since the gods… um, need the prayers and adoration of mankind in order to remain immortal. Why does this all sound like a pyramid scheme? Don’t ask.
Some backstory: in order to teach a lesson to mankind, his emotionally wayward whimsical creation, god-daddy Zeus (Liam Neeson, enjoying the paycheck) trick-raped a human woman, posing as her blasphemous husband, and begot Perseus. Abandoned at birth, Perseus has been raised by a simple fisherman (Pete Postlethwaite) and his wife, who dismiss Perseus’ lingering concerns over his uncertain biological lineage by noting that their love is “the love that gods and kings fight over,” whatever the hell that means. Daddy (and uncle) issues come bubbling to the surface when Perseus’ seafaring parents are killed, collateral damage in an attack on humans by Hades (Ralph Fiennes), Zeus’ scheming, banished-to-the-underworld brother.
Swearing revenge against Hades and any minions he brings to bear against him, Perseus finds a lover/guide in the form of comely fellow demigod Io (Gemma Arterton), who takes time away from a slate of Pantene commercials to drop some helpful exposition. A-questing Perseus will go! A few hearty, sandled warriors join him, and together they team up with Blue-eyed Barkface Magic Guy (I’m pretty sure that’s his name) to lay waste to some giant crabby creatures from Starship Troopers, cross the River Styx (“Come sail away!”) and lop off Medusa’s head, all so that they might then do battle with the gods’ ultimate weapon, the Kraken, which resembles a steroid-enhanced version of that monster from Cloverfield.
There is a genuine sense of whipped-up energy here that will likely connect with the adolescent set, but the skills of director Louis Leterrier (The Incredible Hulk) are far better suited to hand-crafted, close-quarters mayhem (Transporter 2 is still his best movie), of which there’s really very little in Clash of the Titans. This is big, size-queen action, and Leterrier seems not to intuitively know how to stage these set pieces in a manner that communicates a proper sense of scope and space. And while the technical craftsmanship on display here is in sum fairly solid, there’s not what I could aptly characterize as a honest sense of knowing fun — that everyone is participating in a slick piece of goofy, escapist entertainment. Parts of the movie lumber, especially whenever Io has to deliver history lessons or shading detail, in an effort to underline the Big Stakes. Other moments in the movie just don’t fit together on a very basic dramatic level; when Zeus pops by mid-journey to offer Perseus an out, the two chat almost matter-of-factly, not as if Perseus had only recently come to know of his godly origins, and had never before spoken to his biological father.
Most damningly, it’s worth noting that the 3-D presentation of Clash of the Titans is, no lie, flat-out terrible. As with Alice in Wonderland, the effect was lacquered on after production, and it renders the entire first act far too dark and murky. This, as well as over-caffeinated editing that doesn’t jibe with the more fluid rhythms that 3-D presentation generally requires, undercuts Peter Menzies’ cinematography, which otherwise features some nice vistas. When the Kraken is finally unleashed, the movie once again roars to life, an orgiastic display of CGI-rendering. Without much in the way of personality or human connection, however, this Clash elicits mostly yawns and shrugs. (Warner Bros., PG-13, 106 minutes)




















