Fan-freaking-tastic. After readying, in my mind, an admittedly somewhat belated but nonetheless brilliant post about Paris Hilton’s forthcoming Disturbia experience, it appears that Paris has been thrown back behind bars for her reckless driving and suspended license parole violation — at least for now — freaking out in the courtroom and crying out, “It’s not right!” and, “Mom!” All this after being placed in handcuffs in a police car and driven to the courtroom this morning for a hearing on her early release from jail — a hearing that her lawyers tried to get her to “attend” via phone.
None-too-happy Judge Michael T. Sauer said that he saw “no documentation or evidence to support claims of a mitigating medical condition” (e.g., the sheriff’s office filed no paperwork) and reinstated Hilton’s sentence, though with California’s overcrowded prisons and the possibility of good behavior time off, a full, 45-day term shouldn’t be expected. Naturally, an appeal over the house arrest/jail matter should also be filed, probably today but possibly Monday. Meanwhile, TMZ.com managing editor Harvey Levin is on MSNBC playing talking head right now, with paper airplanes flying around his head in the “newsroom” background. Wow. This. Is. America.
Hilton would have gotten through this whole ordeal a lot more smoothly if she just shut up and took it like a champ, with a clenched jaw. This makes her look like even more of a spoiled, out-of-touch brat, though, something I didn’t think was possible. And the courtroom outburst has to rank as top-shelf taunting material for years to come. In fact, if I strain my ears, I think I can hear the “It’s not right!” T-shirts being printed up right now…
UPDATE 6/8: For the photo that will likely be accompanying the above text on those black-market, swap-meet T-shirts, click here.
UPDATE 6/8: For Michael Musto’s hilariously gross comment about the inevitable Hilton PR restoration project, click here.
UPDATE 6/26: For a “celebration” of Paris’ release, and proof that she rocks the bong, click here.