I don’t know if anyone else out there has caught MTV’s Adventures in Hollyhood — and I certainly can’t recommend it — but my television had lag-defaulted there late last night from its earlier TiVo consumption of the deliciously retarded The Inferno, and I was struck dumb by witnessing director Joel Schumacher take a meeting with members of the Three 6 Mafia, to discuss a potential film project.

For those (blissfully) not in the know, the series centers, I gather, around rappers Juicy J, DJ Paul, Project Pat, Big Treice et al, and their attempts to parlay their Oscar-winning Hustle & Flow hit into some sort of collective and respective film careers. After staring at each other slack-jawed while trying to pen a script, or at least the loose approximation thereof (and then, finally, getting the bright idea to phone Hustle & Flow producer John Singleton for advice), a pair of the guys somehow score an audience with Schumacher. This is obviously a courtesy meeting, but the Three 6 Mafia goes all out in an attempt to more robustly authenticate the “Memphis flavor” of their rambling pitch, hiring bikini-clad girls to serve barbecued ribs to the filmmaker — nevermind that even a cursory biography search would have revealed Schumacher to be openly gay.

Polite to a fault, Schumacher chows down on the ribs, offers some to the ladies, makes an awkward bulimia joke, and then listens to what appears to be a 30-minute reading or something like that. At its end, Schumacher tells the Three 6 Mafia that he feels “they really have a film,” and he wants to follow up with them; the whole surreal bit ends with hugs and “pounds.” It gets even better, though. In the show’s closing credits, one of the rappers receives a call several days later from someone at Schumacher’s office, but hangs up on them, mistaking their own identification as the person for whom they were asking. So take note, aspiring screenwriters: forget structure and craft, merely start a rap career to help open up occupational avenues for yourself…