I’m catching Paramount’s Next, which opens April 27, today, so maybe I’ll post some thoughts on it later, upon returning. But is it just me or doesn’t the above poster look like it was thrown together by some intern monkeying around on Photoshop? The wall of flame draws your attention to the title, at least, but everything else about this poster seems rather nondescript. “Everyone, look stage left!”

I know it’s based on a Philip Dick story, and they brought out
the big-gun screenwriters for it, but I can’t say that the
effects-intensive TV ads have stirred up much of an appetite in myself, or
anyone else to whom I’ve spoken. Holy crap — I just checked and found out Peter
Falk is in it. And that there are characters named Mr. White, Miss
Brown and Mr. Green, for which there better be a good explanation.

Still, despite its high marks in ordinariness, the poster does roughly hew to my personal breast-to-nose theory of proportion, which holds that no matter how big the head of a given movie’s star, if there’s a sex bomb female costar, her chest should measure at least as big as his beak. As much as Jessica Biel’s rack, though, Julianne Moore’s zippered jacket and high collar let us know who’s (ostensibly) pulling the babe baggage here. Well played, Paramount, well played. Except that discerning kids can still note that the movie is rated PG-13.