, we so rarely see it depicted realistically, or with lasting consequence.</p>
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Mike Judge took a sideways dig at this is in his unfortunately buried latest release, the futuristic and well-worth-a-look Idiocracy; in a dumbed-down civilization several centuries forward, the most popular show on television is called Ow, My Balls!, and consists of repeated blows to the crotch. (Within the movie, the most recent Academy Award for Best Picture also went to a film called Ass, incidentally.)
For some reason, though, the only mainstream film that sticks out in my memory as having something approaching a throughline or follow-through regarding its groin pounding is the sweaty 1996 movie Heaven’s Prisoners, starring Alec Baldwin. (It’s also semi-notable for Teri Hatcher’s full-body nude scene and Eric Roberts’ hilarious cornrows, which help tip off the re-shoots.)
I remember being struck when I first read James Lee Burke’s novel by a scene in which Alec Baldwin’s character, ex-detective Dave Robicheaux, takes a below-the-belt beating, and then suffers its aftereffects when his wife Annie (Kelly Lynch) tries to help ice down his sac and give him fellatio. The movie adaptation by screenwriter Harley Peyton and director Phil Joanou doesn’t shy away from it too much. Old Robicheaux loses out twice on that one…
I was always confounded by Ms. Hatcher’s physical attributes in that film – surely they’ve since been improved upon with a bit of Desperate cosmetic surgery?
It’d be awesome, and hilarious, to see a real-time-type movie where the lead took a hearty nut shot and sported an ice pack/padding for the rest of the film.
Ya know, like Jack Nicholson’s bandaged nose in “Chinatown,” only his balls.
Too many bad movies out there already feel like a shot to the balls.
Wow, I really thought this post was going to be something else.
Dang it.