I thought I’d inaugurate a new category today, to catalogue film amusements both intentional and less so. This was inspired, in its own way, by a recent viewing of The Salon, in which a character laments the eminent domain struggle over a beauty shop by actually saying, “Doing hair kept me off the streets,” nevermind that the hair salon won’t actually be closing, it’s just being threatened with being moved. Good laugh, that one. Oh, and another inspiration as well was Lucky You, which features a moment where Debra Messing’s bit character randomly runs into an old African-American acquaintance, and asks if he’s still the gondola guy at Casino X, maybe the Excalibur. “No,” he replies with a sly grin. “Now I’m a Nubian slave at the Luxor.” A bit divisive, perhaps, but to have that much punch in a throwaway line in a Hollywood movie is rare — the irony of being paid to portray a slave, of course, and the further insinuation that it was a well-rewarded promotion from his previous position. Edgily well played, Curtis Hanson and Eric Roth…

Basically, though I’ll probably dump some other related stuff in it as well, including previous Wookie filings, this category will chiefly serve as a repository for all (which is to say, some) of the random, throwaway lines from mediocre films which catch my ear — all manner of pithy ripostes, improvised one-liners and earnestly misguided and thus howlingly funny entreaties that aren’t of the traditional comic punchline variety. Oh, to that end, I’m also reminded of Carrie-Anne Moss’ The Fifth Element-tweaking greeting to an orange vest-sporting Jeremy Piven upon his arrival in a scene in 2000’s The Crew: “What are you doing here — and why are you dressed like Bruce Willis?”

Man, this is fun.

Finally, while I’m sure I’d likely get some legal advice to the contrary, I don’t currently have a lot of faith in lawyers, so we’ll probably also launch a special deadbeats category soon, to keep tabs on the fine, fine folks who default on contracts and otherwise attempt to defraud writers. Good times…