Forget About It

He used to be the biggest star in Hollywood, but now Burt Reynolds — bitter and in many ways derisible — is reduced to wan, old-guy variations on the already-less-than-interesting, gum-smacking, smart-guy roles of his commercial heyday. That’s the bottom line regarding Forget About It, an uninspired geriatric comedy which bills itself as being from one of the producers of Ali, Jerry Maguire and As Good as it Gets. As if to underscore the awkward point, Raquel Welch, Charles Durning, Robert Loggia and Phyllis Diller all show up, sleepwalking through tepid set-ups that do little except trade on their aging, autumnal appeal.

The story unfolds in Sunrise Park, a so-called slice of trailer-park heaven just outside Phoenix. For quite a while, the most exciting thing about the golden years for retired war vet buddies Sam LeFleur (Reynolds), Carl Campobosso (Loggia) and Eddie O’Brien (Durning) were their attempts to vie for the affections of their sexy neighbor Christine DeLee (Welch), a legendary former Las Vegas showgirl still famous for her trademark “double dip.” Then new transplant John Brandin (Michael Paloma) pops into their lives. John, nĂ© Angelo Nitti, is in the federal witness protection program. In exchange for ratting out his former Mob partners, he’s been given a new name and a new lease on life, but what he didn’t tell the feds is that he stashed $4 million he stole from the Mafia before he left. When the aforementioned hapless trio of Sam, Carl and Eddie stumble across the loot, they think their ship has finally come in, and start living the high life, accordingly. This leads to all sorts of shenanigans, with the feds, the Mob and their ticked-off neighbor on their trail.

Written by Ukrainian-born former model Julia Davis and directed by husband B.J. Davis, 20-plus years her senior, Forget About It plays partly like a spin-off of 2000’s The Crew, crossed with… I don’t know what, The Whole Nine Yards? The wiseguy face-off angles within the movie are stuff that’s all been seen before, from True Romance to every rip-off down the line, and the comedy herein just doesn’t fire. Forget About It plays like a vanity project devoid of purpose; there’s no pulse here, no point to make, except perhaps a paycheck for all those involved — a list that includes Richard Grieco (yup… that guy), Joanna Pacula, Wayne Crawford and Tim Thomerson. Housed in a regular Amray case, Forget About It comes with optional Spanish subtitles and a brief trailer as its only supplemental features. To purchase the movie via Amazon, click here. D+ (Movie) D (Disc)