Three screenings today, and the final experiential tally includes three bared buttocks, approximately 13 deaths, one ripped-off mustache, one scene of Malin Akerman preparing to do some blow, one vampire squirrel, one gay smooch, two mentions of the Kardashians, one joke at the expense of Lindsay Lohan, one drunken toast by Elijah Wood, one FOX News reference and one decapitation by baseball bat.