So Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey are married… wait, what?! The pair — he 27 years old, she 39, and crazy — apparently tied the knot in a sunset ceremony at Carey’s home in the Bahamas on Wednesday. “They have been smitten with each other for days, weeks,” a friend told the New York Post. “And she’s always had a crush on him.” Oh. Well… good. There’s that, then. There’s a “me and Mariah/baby and pacifiers” joke to be made here, but honestly I can’t even summon the energy.