Alec Baldwin's Balls
This entry was posted on 12/20/2006 7:21 AM and is filed under Musings.
Maybe it's the whole Christmas season and giving-thanks-for-what-one-has thing, but
I was thinking about balls yesterday. And, more specifically, the fact that, given all the testicular torture in cinema (groin shot = funny!), we so rarely see it depicted realistically, or with lasting consequence.
Mike Judge took a sideways dig at this is in his unfortunately buried latest release, the futuristic and well-worth-a-look Idiocracy; in a dumbed-down civilization several centuries forward, the most popular show on television is called
Ow, My Balls!, and consists of repeated blows to the crotch. (Within the movie, the most recent Academy Award for Best Picture also went to a film called
Ass, incidentally.)
For some reason, though,
the only mainstream film that sticks out in my memory as having something approaching a throughline or follow-through regarding its groin pounding is the sweaty 1996 movie Heaven's Prisoners, starring Alec Baldwin. (It's also semi-notable for
Teri Hatcher's full-body nude scene and Eric Roberts' hilarious cornrows, which help tip off the re-shoots.)
I remember being struck when I first read
James Lee Burke's novel by a scene in which Alec Baldwin's character, ex-detective Dave Robicheaux, takes a below-the-belt beating, and then suffers its aftereffects when his wife Annie (Kelly Lynch) tries to help ice down his sac and give him fellatio. The movie adaptation by screenwriter Harley Peyton and director Phil Joanou doesn't shy away from it too much.
Old Robicheaux loses out twice on that one...
