This is just one of those images that first makes you randomly laugh, then piques your interest, then slowly scares the bejesus out of you, because you start to think: “Sweet mother of pearl, wait a second… are they making a movie together?”
Early ’90s ass kicker Steven Seagal last tasted a nominal big screen hit in 2001 with Exit Wounds. Since then he’s tasted many donuts, and is now relegated — and has been for some time, actually — to having various stuntmen run headlong into his fists and feet in a string of straight-to-video re-hashes while he stands around whispering eco-friendly platitudes, and cinematographers, directors and costume designers figure out new ways to mask his corpulence.
Prop comic and disturbingly plastic-faced commercial pitchman Carrot Top, meanwhile, has uncorked really only one headlining movie stinker, the utterly atrocious Chairman of the Board, which is notable for an extended belching scene shared with Courtney Thorne-Smith that, somehow, is still more dignified than any randomly plucked moment of her work on According to Jim.
Seeing this photo, though, has me in terrified stitches. I mean, what would the title of such a pairing be — Laugh Past Dead? Hard to Kielbasa? Out for Just Ice? Enemy of Comedy? The Slimmer Man? Red Yawn? Actually, in my current fog I’m now coming around to the idea, though for what it’s worth I think the photo was taken at one of Seagal’s musical gigs (he’s cut several country/rock albums). Still, that makes you wonder who opened for whom. It also makes you realize that Carrot Top is on the cusp of being one degree away from Tommy Lee Jones in the “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” game. I’m just saying…
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Holy crap that picture freaks me out!
HARD TO KIELBASA would be a good one, really. I can totally see that.
This photo makes you wonder who’s the bigger loser, though — those guys, or the person that took the photo, thinking, “Here’s a summit that needs to be captured!”